[CI] Improve build time dependency resolution

[fheinecke]

Description

There are a few issues with how build-time dependencies are resolved for native code build paths today:

• Installed python packages are not checked when looking up some dependencies
• The CUDA toolkit root is not auto-discovered when it's built via python deps
• Paths to libraries and headers installed via python packages are not plumbed to cmake

The goal here is to allow all build-time requirements to be installed via wheel. This fixes many of the issues blocking TE wheel build isolation.

This change aims to be 100% backwards compatible.

Fixes # (issue)

Type of change

• Documentation change (change only to the documentation, either a fix or a new content)
• Bug fix (non-breaking change which fixes an issue)
• New feature (non-breaking change which adds functionality)
• Breaking change (fix or feature that would cause existing functionality to not work as expected)
• Infra/Build change
• Code refactoring

Changes

Please list the changes introduced in this PR:

• Shared libraries and headers installed via wheel are now provided to cmake
• CUDA toolkit root built via python wheels is now provided to cmake
• NVCC installed via wheel is now used when compiling the JAX extension

Checklist:

• I have read and followed the contributing guidelines
• The functionality is complete
• I have commented my code, particularly in hard-to-understand areas
• I have made corresponding changes to the documentation
• My changes generate no new warnings
• I have added tests that prove my fix is effective or that my feature works
• New and existing unit tests pass locally with my changes

[fheinecke]

/te-ci